if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
