No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
