Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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