I wanna bring you to show and tell
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
