I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
