Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
