My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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