I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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