it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
