I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize