there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
