Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
