Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
