She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
