I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
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Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
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And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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