Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
