i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
