i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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