I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
