now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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