We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize