Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
