Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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