Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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