This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize