You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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