My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
