i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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