I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
