I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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