i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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