I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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