Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize