every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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