I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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