And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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