We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
