sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
