It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize