Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
