you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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