This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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