Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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