69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
FUCK WHALES
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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