I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
