You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
