i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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