Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
