I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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