Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
