Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
