You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
