if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just pynch a tree in the face
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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