hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
