Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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