you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
