moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize