No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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