I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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