Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
