Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
