iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
