You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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