So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize