I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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